In fact, she's received praise for all her "please's" and "thank you's" a few times now. The hubs and I are by no means perfect parents, but I'm thinking we must be doing something right.
At this stage, Gemma can't grasp gratefulness and politeness -- these qualities are obviously too conceptual for my Elmo and raisin fixated toddler; but what she does understand is that the world isn't at her fingertips, simply a metaphorical snap away. No, she's coming to terms with the fact that as she grows older, her attitude matters.
One of my conscious goals as a parent has been to raise a grateful child. I'm now in my seventh year as a high school teacher and my experiences in the classroom really impact how I parent. Very rarely do I see a grateful teenager walk through my classroom door. The ones who thank you for the fun class planned that day, the ones who thank you for allowing them to re-write a paper they bombed, the ones who thank you for bringing in cupcakes "just because" -- these grateful teens are on the extinct species list. Oh, please don't think I am hating on teenagers: I wouldn't do my job if I didn't love them and think they had great potential. But reality is reality. We have an entitlement generation, and most adults working with kids will tell you that.
Entitlement is a scary thing. It screams "I deserve this because I exist!" And let loose too long, it becomes a cancer, multiplying and seeping into the most critical areas of our children's lives -- like their humility, their relationships and their work ethic.
No, I do not want this for my girl.
So for Thanksgiving--a day where we pause and reflect on all we have to be thankful for: the things we have earned and the things we have been given freely--I want to share my take on how to cultivate gratitude in our toddlers. So that they become the big kids who recognize the gifts and service of others, are grateful for all they've received, and realize the importance of hard work.
A few ways to cultivate gratitude in your toddler:
Expect it of them – I am a firm believer that children meet the expectations set of them. I see it each day in the classroom. Its what explains how one group of students can be complete terrors in one class with one teacher and then in the next period with another teacher become sweet angels. Same students – different expectations.
In the home, it meant that as soon as Gemma could sign or say “please” and “thank you”, we expected nothing less. I don’t give Gemma her drink, her toy, her crayons...unless she asks appropriately, saying please and without whining. It also means that sometimes it takes a few tries on her part to get it right and I have to resist the urge to just give her what she wants to keep her quiet. And when she forgets to say thank you, we remind her, every time. With kids, consistency is key.
"More is caught than taught" – This is one of my favourite Dave Ramsey-isms. Yes, I can teach Gemma to be thankful by expecting nothing less from her, but those lessons certainly won’t stick if we don’t model it in the home. The munchkins are watching, and they love nothing more than to copy exactly what Mommy does -- especially the not-so-good things. Consider whether you express gratefulness for what you've received from others. Consider your dinner table conversations -- are you positive and appreciative of the situations and people you came across that day? Are you thanking your spouse for helping with the laundry or doing the dishes? As long as those little eyes can see and those little ears can hear -- they will copy you!
Serve as a family – Nothing instills gratitude quite like serving. When you give of your time, your talents and your treasure, and feel what blessing others feels like, you feel more appreciative of all you've received. My husband and I were both raised by pastors--who were always serving their congregation--and it's no surprise that we chose careers that had us serving others. It just feels right. It just feels like what we should do.
Jump on whatever opportunity you have to serve in your community. Creating a culture of service in your home will always create a by-product of gratitude. How's that for chemistry?
To turkey and stuffing, and all the other things we are thankful for,
♥ Dion
