How to lose the baby weight...and how it’s all about how you THINK.

Let’s talk baby weight. And losing the baby weight. For some women, pregnancy is a glorious time where they throw off the shackles of society’s expectations of how women should look and how much they should eat. They embrace the “I’m eating for two” mentality because there’s such a small window of time in life where eating five cupcakes in a sitting is considered cute.  But you might have been like me -- I found the thought of gaining something like thirty pounds in nine months more scary than liberating. That’s because I struggled with my weight when I was younger. In my twenties things turned around and I began to focus more on having a healthy lifestyle. So when it was time to start our family, I was nervous that I would gain more weight than is healthy and find myself discouraged about my body afterwards.

I was pretty careful about what I ate during pregnancy, but I did make a few mistakes. For one, I know I drank too many empty calories by drinking fruit and vegetable juices. I drank these beverages in hopes of getting all my servings of fruits and veggies, but I would’ve been better off eating the actual foods instead of consuming all the extra calories in the juice! But this was the real kicker -- sometime around my second trimester, a Tim Horton’s – Canada’s favourite doughnut shop – opened up in my neighbourhood, right by the exit to the highway that takes me to work. Multiple times each week I succumbed to own lack of self-control and picked up a bagel on the way to work.  Considering that Gemma was born in the 3^rd percentile at only 5lbs 9oz, I’d say that a lot of my baby weight was actually bagel weight!

Fortunately, I can say that when Gemma was 9 months old I stood on the scale and was back to my pre-baby (ahem, bagel) weight, and my old jeans were actually loose. But I wasn’t one of those moms who we all kinda hate because they look like they’ve never even had a kid weeks after delivery – for myself it really was the 9 months on, 9 months off scenario.

So, I’ve decided to devote a couple posts to how to lose the baby weight in a healthy way and maintain a positive self-image.  Keep in mind that I am so not a doctor or fitness trainer -- make sure you seek out some expert advice if you don’t know much about personal fitness.

Ok, so here goes.

#1 - It’s all in your head.

In any goal you intend to reach, the biggest hurdle to succeeding will be a mental one. Once you retrain your brain, the actions needed to meet your goal will follow.

For example, when I was losing the baby weight I heard this saying that you can’t expect to see any changes if you don’t do anything different. I know it sounds obvious, but be honest with yourself -- how many times have you told yourself that you are going to change something, don’t do anything different, and then get frustrated that nothing has changed! (New Years much?!?)

Once I came to terms in my MIND that I had to do something different than I had before, I started to take the steps necessary to lose the weight. For me that meant I had to do something active each day. During my pregnancy, although I was conscious of my diet, I quit working out about four months in – something I sorely regret. For me the change I needed to make was getting back into the habit of working out consistently.

In order to lose the weight you will have to make some changes. You will have to sacrifice. You will have to do something different to get a different result. I think this is where a lot of moms find themselves -- stuck in a mental battle where they want to see change, but haven’t made up in their mind that they're willing to do what it takes to see change occur.

#2 -- Be realistic.

It’s so important that you have realistic expectations about weight loss and what your body will look like.  Six weeks post partum you will not look like Kate Middleton or some other super rich/famous mom whose super tight body is plastered over the magazines in the grocery store. New moms do not have rock hard abs – nope, they have smushy tummies that resemble bread dough.  New moms don’t look like supermodels, and that is a good thing. The amount of time and special diets needed to look like that are truly only afforded by the celebrities. OK - I do know some non-celeb moms who are in incredible shape, but they’ll tell you about the level of dedication necessary to look like that, and if you’re like me, it won’t excite you.

Instead, focus more on how you want to feel and less on how you want to look.

You want to have the energy to keep up with your kids. You want to be able to run a certain distance. You want to get back into that activity or sport you used to play.

 When you start to work out and eat healthier, you will begin to feel better quicker than you’ll see physical results. When you start to feel better and have minor victories here and there, you’ll be more motivated to keep doing what you’re doing. And then the physical results come.

But if you begin with an unrealistic picture in your mind of what a busy mom’s physique should look like, you’ll likely get so discouraged when you don’t look that way, that you give up.

Stay realistic moms. Its ok to be a little smushy. Focus on being healthy and you’ll start to see results.

#3 – Let yourself off the hook.

You will have setbacks in your weight loss journey. I lost the first 12 pounds almost immediately after having Gemma, but the last 15 or so took longer than I expected it would. For me my setback was a health one. I had a c-section with Gemma (if you haven’t read my blog about the c-section club, you can read it here – it's a favourite of many of my readers) which meant absolutely no working out for the first six weeks and then a very slow integration into working out afterwards. You don’t go from having your abdomen sliced in two to doing high intensity interval training right away. I began with simply walking the track at the gym (Gemma was born in the dead of winter in Alberta...like -30 degrees Celsius). I walked and walked and walked, and smiled at my adorable little munchkin in the stroller all the way along. I ran into a nurse/acquaintance one day at the gym and she admired that I was six or seven weeks postpartum and walking the track. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I guess it was a big deal for a new, exhausted mom who has just recovered from major surgery to go so hard. I was determined.

Feeding Gemma (6 months old) in the hospital three days after surgery.

The c-section led to a whole host of other setbacks. For instance, I wanted to desperately breast feed, and despite all my efforts, it just wasn’t happening for Gemma and I (I’ll be sure to blog on that one day). Consequently I missed out on the weight loss benefits of nursing. And when Gemma was six months old I went in for another surgery to remove a cyst off my ovary that was found during the c-section. To make a long story short, what was meant to be a routine day surgery had me ambulanced back to the hospital that evening where I was readmitted for four days with peritonitis (inflammation of the peritoneum). The pain was beyond excruciating and although I was sent home four days later, I lived with chronic pain for a number of months afterwards. Breathing was painful for many weeks following the surgery which meant all exercise was a no-go. Gemma was probably 8  months old before I could really exercise the way I needed to get rid of those last pounds.

I hope your setbacks aren’t that dramatic. But I can guarantee you’ll have them. Just don’t give up in the face of them.

I know these points aren’t necessarily practical steps for losing the baby weight, but before you can implement any weight loss plan, you have to prepare your mind for the challenge. Be encouraged and know that you can truly do anything you set your mind to.

To losing the bagel weight,  
♥ Dion

The $4 Centrepiece

Since having Gemma and going down in income I’ve had to cut back on certain areas in our budget, including home decor. I’ve definitely had to be more creative coming up with wallet-friendly updates to my seasonal decor. This weekend I hosted a jamberry nail party and wanted to create an inexpensive centrepiece that reflected this theme. Here’s what I came up with:

Cute, hey! Here’s the best part -- this centrepiece could be as cheap as $4.00! I got the hydrangea stems from Dollarama for 1.25 each. Dollarama can have some really nice looking floral stems for much cheaper than Michael’s.  For the jars you could use any jam jars you find around the house.  I used these mason jar mugs that I purchased from Chapter’s earlier in the Spring for drinks on the patio – but I might just keep them on my kitchen table for the rest of the summer!

Happy decorating!

♥ Dion

The Importance of a Father's Presence: A Daddy's Day post.

My husband has an interesting way of getting our 17 month old daughter dressed in the morning. He pulls her pants to her knees, stands her up, and then lifts her up by the waist band so that she kinda falls right into her pants. It’s a tad unconventional, but as he always says, “it gets the job done!” It’s adorable how he takes care of our daughter, in his own unique way.

If you’re like me, you know how easy it can be to take your husband’s involvement in raising your children for granted. When he does something differently than how you would, criticism, not encouragement, seems to roll off the tongue. When he gets home late from work, forgets to accomplish that one task or spends too long ______ (you fill in the blank), it’s tempting to slip into ‘compare and critique’ mode: That job would take me five minutes to get done...

Ugh. It’s embarrassing to admit that I’ve felt and said any of the above before (and more than once...).

I am too quick to forget this one truth: A father’s loving presence in the home is central to the healthy development of the child. It matters not whether he does things just like you.

There’s TONS of research that supports this (see here for more detail):

For instance, children raised with involved fathers are less likely to misbehave at school and as teenagers are less likely to participate in risky behaviours.

Source: Bronte-Tinkew, J., Moore, K.A., & Carrano, J. (2006). The father-child relationship, parenting styles, and adolescent risk behaviors in intact families. Journal of Family Issues, 27, 850-881.

Researchers have found that children are better off emotionally, cognitively and socially when their fathers are consistently involved in their lives.

Source: Anthes, E. (2010, May/June). Family guy. Scientific American Mind.

Children raised in homes where the father is not present are four times more likely to live in poverty.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2011, Table C8. Washington D.C.: 2011.

Children are more likely to be aggressive when raised without a father.

Source: Osborne, C., & McLanahan, S. (2007). Partnership instability and child well-being. Journal of Marriage and Family, 69, 1065-1083

Children raised in father-less homes were more likely to be involved in criminal behaviour and more likely to be incarcerated as adults, even when the researchers controlled for income.

Source: Harper, Cynthia C. and Sara S. McLanahan. “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration.” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.

And the statistics could go on, and on, and on.

But I don’t need the statistics to tell me this. I’ve been working with young people for the past eight years, and see this theme repeat in my classroom: the most well-adjusted, contented, successful students more often than not come from homes where a father is present and positively involved in their child’s life. It’s heartbreaking hearing a young man speak of the unbearable pressure of being the ‘man of the house’ or a young woman having no sense of her value because there is no father to speak of her intelligence, wit and beauty.

You see, the presence of a father has incredible power in a home. Loving, good-willed fathers are a stabilizing factor to the family. Sure, they fall short from perfect, but so do you and I as moms. It is their good-will – that intent to provide for, support and love their family – that trumps any tendencies that drive us moms crazy.

It doesn’t matter if my husband forgets to feed Gemma her 3 o’clock snack because his will for Gemma is good. He’s dedicated his whole life to that little girl and I. He has educated himself to get a great job that provides for all our needs and more. He wants to be present in all of Gemma’s memories, and willingly gives up time he could devote to other interests to do this. He loves me without condition and through that shows Gemma how to choose a loving, good-willed spouse for herself one day.

Today I remind myself of this.

Oh, and I gotta admit that I too have adopted the ‘lift by the waistband, slip into pants' technique from time to time – it works!

To not taking fathers for granted,

♥ Dion

Jamberry Nails - My New Favourite Beauty Product for Busy Moms!

*Note: Since I've completed this review I have signed up as a Jamberry Nail Consultant. How couldn't I? I just love this beauty product and had to share it with all my family and friends! If you'd like to make an order, you can do so by following this link.

Motherhood asks a lot of us, but one thing I refuse to let it take away is my desire to feel ‘put together’. Not saying that I didn’t rock the new mom uniform of sweat pants and a top knot during my maternity leave, because I sure did and I enjoyed every moment of it! What I mean is that I have always been pretty determined to take the time I need for myself to still feel they way I did about my appearance before I had Gemma. But, I’ve had to find ways to be more efficient in this process.

So today I want to share with you my new favourite beauty product for busy moms like us – Jamberry nail wraps. This product solves the following dilemma regarding our nails: to paint, or not to paint.

Early on in motherhood I thought about doing my nails, but then it dawned on me that Gemma would in all likelihood be up crying by the time I painted them. IF I was lucky enough to get them painted and dry before I had to feed her, then I knew my nails were going to start chipping mere hours later since I was constantly washing my hands and opening all the packaging baby stuff seems to come with. And sure, I guess I could’ve gotten my nails done by the pros, but I could never justify spending that kind of money and time on maternity leave, not to mention the exposure to nasty chemicals at the salon.

I had written off my nails entirely.

Until I met my friend Mallory. She introduced me to these amazing Jamberry nail wraps. They are similar to the nail stickers Essie and Sally Hansen sells at the drug store, but far superior. These babies have intense glue that softens when you heat them up with a heater/hair dryer. You simply choose the wrap that fits your nail bed the best, trim to size, heat up the wrap, plop on your nail, and voila, beautiful nails!

My Jamberry Nails this week - Gold and Vintage Chic

The best thing about this product is that they have serious lasting power. They stay on your nails for a good two weeks, with no chipping! And since there is no drying time, it doesn’t matter if baby wakes up in the middle of your manicure. All my nail problems solved.

I also have pretty thin, brittle nails that break easily. I find my nails are way less likely to break with my Jams on. I’ve been wearing these consistently for about a month, and my nails are the longest they’ve been since when I was pregnant when all those lovely hormones kept my nails and hair strong and thick.

Now, beware, if you’re one who struggles with decision-making, Jamberry might be a problem for you. There are literally hundreds of styles, from solid colours, to ombre, to sparkles, to any pattern you can imagine. Not to mention metallics – silver, gold and rose gold! Before I made my first order, I spent a LONG time staring at the catalogue, having a hard time choosing which 4 styles to buy.

That brings me to pricing. At around 17.00 a sheet—a single sheet provides enough wraps to do multiple manicures and pedicures--these are way cheaper than paying an esthetician to do your nails. And they have a great deal, buy 3 sheets and get the 4^th sheet free!

Can you tell I am enthusiastic about Jamberry? It’s not often I find a product that is affordable, practical and suits my sense of style. I just had to share.

I’m excited that this week I am giving away a Jamberry ‘Jamicure in a Jar’ that includes everything you need for your first manicure. To be part of my giveaway, please go to my facebook page and like it, share THIS post on your wall, and then let me know that you have done so by commenting on my facebook page. You will be entered in to the draw on Monday, June 9. You don’t have to live nearby to enter--I’ll gladly send your jamicure to you, wherever you are!

To see the full Jamberry catalogue, click here.

To doing motherhood in style, ♥ Dion