Tuesday, 9 February 2016

What to keep in mind when the kids cause you to lose yours

Lately I've been joking with my husband about how my life at home has me teetering on the brink of insanity. I wish I was doing motherhood more gracefully than I am right now. The days can be so long, so boring, so exhausting, so overwhelming, and yet so lovely, that it's really hard to gauge the soundness of my mind. There are many days when I am one tantrum away from losing my marbles. You get it moms, I know you do.

When I'm at this point (which is admittedly all too often), I try to keep these things in mind, before I totally lose mine:

1 - This too shall pass - Everything is a phase mama. Remember the sleepless nights-cracked-nipples-covered-in-spit-up-newborn phase? It eventually ended. Or the isn't-this-hilarious-I-dumped-my-entire-meal-on-the-floor phase. That ended too. I can only hope that the demanding-cranky-no-naps-threenager phase will one day end. Right? And before you know it the kids will be grown and gone and you'll be wishing for the pitter-patter of those little feet in your home.

2 - You're doing better than that other mom - This sounds horrible, but it's not what you think. When you feel you're doing a terrible job, or your little one tells you you're doing a terrible job (we're in the "you're not a nice mommy" phase, speaking of phases!), remember there are moms who end up on the 6 o'clock news for what they've done to their kids. Remind yourself that your kids are blessed to have YOU, even if it's like thirty years before they realize it. You're not doing a half bad job, which means you're doing AMAZING.

3 - Misery loves company - When the children have peed on the floor and colored on the walls and you're about to be that mom on the 6 o'clock news, call/text/message your mom friends. They've been there and you can all complain together. It really helps. I promise. And if they have no such stories, you find new friends.

4 - There are legal substances for that - For some moms it's chocolate, for others it's coffee. Whatever gets you through the day my friends. I literally drink coffee by the pot these days and it makes me all kinds of happy. And now, don't hate me for this, but I've also taken to running on the treadmill when I have a really frustrating day. I put my toddler in nap and bring the sleeping newborn into the basement where I run, run, run. The endorphins washing through my brain feel so good it should be illegal. I looked it up once and the rush of endorphins you get from exercise is similar to how someone feels doing heroin. No joke. And it's what gets me through those final hours until the hubs comes home, where I promptly pass the parenting baton on to him and hide in my room until I need to make supper.

5 - Just laugh, cause otherwise you'll cry - You've had that parenting moment that is so terrible you just burst into tears. Stop and think, is there any humour in this? There probably isn't. But if there's a microscopic shred, just laugh. It's good for our kids to see us laugh, and it's good for our soul. I wish I was better at doing that instead of transforming into one of those crazy villains from superhero movies. The book of Proverbs talks about the wife of noble character and how she can laugh at the days to come -- I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it.

And if all else fails, stop and take a look at those cute kids you made (after all, you are a sucker for punishment). They really are adorable, even if they are making you insane.


To laughing at the days to come,

♥ Dion

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